Sometimes life is just plain shitty

[bluetoy]

I'm not one to post this stuff online but I just need to get it out.

Not looking for any condolences or anything like that either. July 2018. Father in-law diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Given 9 months to live. Sept 29 2018, Mother in-law passes away from a year long battle with dementia, Watching someone waste away like that is not nice. Funeral Oct 11. Oct 13th Wife goes in for scheduled somewhat major surgery, She's been off work for 2 months, Just went back to work Nov 26. Nov 28th Father in-law passes away suddenly. We made it to the hospital in time. Funeral coming up. My wife is just beat down to nothing now. I don't even know how to help get her through it. Her sister has been a 24hr live in caregiver for her parents for over a year and is now asking how to even carry on. She doesn't know how to resume her life. I'm usually very good at helping people deal with this stuff but I am at a loss. Christmas is now an afterthought. I'm keeping my wife very busy and I hope her sister is finding time to spend with friends she hasn't seen in over a year. Funny thing is both my parents passed away in Oct (98 and 03 though).. Crappy time of year for me.. Bah humbug

P.S. I didn't even win the lotto max either.

[Stephen06GT]

Shitty indeed. Unfortunately I have no words of wisdom for you except hang in there. Feel free to vent whenever you need to. Sometimes just getting it off your chest can be helpful.

[ZR]

Life can be a real you know what sometimes, all we can do is our best to comfort and support those around us.
Smoother days are right around the next corner.

[RedSN]

Haven’t had to deal with dementia or Alzheimer’s, but had my fair share of losses to cancer. Cancer needs to fuck off.

Nothing like piling on during the “festive” season. Hope the family hangs in there bluetoy.

[Gr8Stang]

Life often isn't fair that's for sure. Both good and bad people suffer....no favorites. Hang in there, better times are ahead!

[WTF]

sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that

my advice is to walk laps

buy appropriate gear for you and your wife and lay out a path in your neighbourhood to walk a 1km loop.....and just walk laps....commit to 2-3 per day

I might sound like I'm nuts.....but do it and then reflect

all the best

[Darkhorse]

When it rains it pours......it always happens like this everything close together. Been there before, one day at a time is the only way.

[bluetoy]

sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that

my advice is to walk laps

buy appropriate gear for you and your wife and lay out a path in your neighbourhood to walk a 1km loop.....and just walk laps....commit to 2-3 per day

I might sound like I'm nuts.....but do it and then reflect

all the best


You are nuts. It's 8km around my block...

[hammerhead]

be strong and supportive listening and lending a shoulder is sometimes all you need to do - it doesn't hurt to inject a little comedy people still like to laugh in any situation - time heels all and giving support will help you feel better and stronger....

[bluetoy]

I'm hanging in OK. I deal with death quite well. My wife is taking her Dad's passing very hard. Watching her is what's getting to me. Once we get past this funeral it should get better. I'm keeping her pretty busy and also letting her have quiet alone time. She prefers to be alone at times like this. It's a balance. Christmas lights tomorrow, her idea so I guess that's a good sign.

[92redragtop]

Sorry to hear about the difficult times your family is going through. I hope you're all able to heal quickly and move forward with their memories.

[Scrape]

Sorry to hear of your losses. Keeping busy certainly helps things out but the exercise, meditations and hanging out with close friends and doing activities helps out a bunch as well. Unfortunately we all have to deal with this but nothing stops it from happening.

[FABMAN]

Sorry to hear of your losses. Keeping busy certainly helps things out but the exercise, meditations and hanging out with close friends and doing activities helps out a bunch as well. Unfortunately we all have to deal with this but nothing stops it from happening.

Honestly, Scrape’s and WTF’s advice is really wise. Nothing but time will help her but trying to get on a couples exercise routine tends to usually help. It helps the body manage stress and will strengthen your bond as you exercise together.

Wishing you family better days ahead. 2018 has been a totally shit year for many (myself included) so wish you all a better 2019.

[Quicksilver]

WTF's advice is solid. exercise brings out endorphins in the brain to make you feel better, and it helps with health. Nothing but time can heal any better. I am so sorry for your troubles. It will eventually get better.